A Virgin Again

Today, I bit the bullet and purchased my plane ticket to Boston prior to our trip to Italy. The airlines are certainly making the most of the price of fuel and I'm afraid that if I wait any longer, even with any potential last minute sales, the bi-coastal trip would be almost as much as the flight to Italy. Although it was tempting to see my mother's reaction if I told her she'd have to meet me in Europe, I thought it best to be a good son and play by the rules.

Have You Seen the Price of Airline Tickets?

For years, everyone has made light of both my mother and me being incredibly early for everything. Appointments, family gatherings, work, school  - you name it and we were never late. Needless to say, some found it amusing that I was planning this second trip to Europe with my mom so soon. I started looking for airline tickets before the horrid Boston winter and the depressing California rains - securing our flights in November. Today, just for the hell of it, I priced the same itineary and discovered that each ticket was $674 more per person. Though I would have paid it for this trip with her, it would have put a serious dent in the amount of gelato we could afford to eat and worst of all, it would have seriously affected my wine consumption.

Everyone wants to Join

Today, my entire dental office was envious of my mother's trip to Italy with me. The receptionist, whom I adore and never fails to make me laugh, told me I need to find a man and that we could meet some great ones in Italy.

"You have a husband," I reminded her.

"That's no problem, honey, we'll be in Italy," she shot back.

I told her that I think my mom would be a tad disappointed if I didn't take her as planned and she reluctantly said that she'd settle for the pictures.

There was a time when no one in my family visited the dentist and despite my grandmother's pleas for me to become one, I opted to not look into people's mouths (at least professionally) and instead wandered aimlessly for years looking for a career. My mother, and the whole family by default because of one crazy doctor who never used novocain, had taken a long hiatus from the dental office. The day Rosemarie lost a tooth when she was in her 40's began a long and painful process to recoup the dental health that was let to slide for so many years.

Today, I've straightened and whitened my teeth and made a lot of dentists very rich and happy. I've often wondered what would have happened if I followed my grandmother's advice. I do know that watching my mom marvel at all the sights I'm going to show, though, is even better knowing that unlike my grandfather, my mother's smile won't be coming back at me through a glass of water.

It's Her Birthday

Today is yet another rainy and cold day in Los Angeles and besides it being a day like so many others that I've long since stopped hoping will end, it is also my mom's birthday. Last year, to get her excited about our trip to Paris, I sent her some Euros. The colorful currency was a fun way to get her excited about Europe and this year, I sent her a book called Florence: The Golden Age 1138-1737.

My mother (on the right)  well before she turned 76 and striking a very modelesque arm pose. It's my brother looking back at me in a one piece.

"This is a big book," she said. "It's going to take me a long time to read it."

"Well, by the time you finish, it'll be time to go," I said. "Did you get any other presents?"

"Your father gave me $10 and a bunch of losing scratch tickets. And a card that said he's always loved me. I think I'll keep that one."

Although I used to send cards for years, I think they're a bad value. Hallmark can charge upwards of $3 for something you can just write in a letter yourself, but that being said, I feel the same as my dad. And in four months (I don't count July since that's the month we're leaving), it'll be one giant Hallmark card to my mother from me.

Thoughts Of Summer On Another Rainy Day

It's almost a week until my mother's birthday. She turns 76 on February 25 and at this rate, it may still be raining, but I'm hopeful that the water will stop falling from the sky soon. It's hard to believe that last year we were getting excited about our trip to Paris and she got her first glimpse of European money. This year, I've sent her a gift that pertains to our latest destination, but I can't tell you what it is since she may read this before she opens the gift.

 If I can, I always try to do something unique and special for birthdays. When I was six or seven, I made a chain out of colored construction paper to decorate at my grandmother's birthday party. It was nothing special, but I worked long and hard on it and I was so proud of it. The day of the party at her sister's house, I ran ahead to string it up in the kitchen. We ate Italian cookies and, I think there was a rum cake. There was always a cake dripping with rum at parties. I'm convinced it's an Italian thing.


My grandmother at her birthday party. I don't know why there's no picture of the chain here. I worked long and hard on it.


I like to think that the trip to Florence is an extension of my mom's birthday celebration. I could have planned the vacation for this month - but that would require that I buy and pack clothes that I do not own. Traveling to where it is cold and could possibly snow will never be high on my list. In fact, I'd probably need to be high to consider either choice. Maybe last year's trip and this one to Italy beats a paper chain, but I do know that even if I gave her that, my mom would be just as happy.

Family Ties and Old Friends



If you've ever watched the show Who Do You Think You Are? (returning to NBC on Friday, Feb 4 - yes, a shameless plug for my network), then perhaps you've been inspired to think about the history of your family. Long before the show premiered last season, I was always fascinated about knowing more about my ancestors, and when I first went to Italy in 1999, I made an unsuccessful attempt to contact my papa's family. I wrote to an address found on an old letter that my godmother had provided, but whatever the reason - too much time past, an undeliverable letter, or perhaps resentment for the brother who left the family to come to Amercia -  I never heard back. My grandfather arrived through Ellis Island with his own father and all I knew of the family left behind was a brother named Rocco who, I think had a daughter who taught English.

My mother's ancestry lies in Sicily and Lithuania and her father was a mystery to me, making quick and fleeting appearances throughout my young life. What I remember most is his great mane of hair and his German Shepard, Snoopy always at his feet at the kitchen table. To this day, I cannot recall one conversation between the two of us. Although we won't have time to visit the city where my grandpa Angelo Buccafusca's family is from, Rosemarie and I will be able to meet a dear friend of mine from high school who does live there.



One of the few pictures of me (right) with my grandpa.


It was 1981, Cinzia and I met through one of my best friends and we both held a common disdain for our English teacher. I asked her to the junior prom, but she wasn't able to go - and to this day, I'm certain it was not because of the way I looked back then. Pictures will not be posted. When Cinzia relocated back to Sicily before graduation, we kept in touch for a while but as is common, we lost contact. But this is a new day and age - where old friends are easily found through Facebook and we've since reconnected. This summer, she's going to meet both of us in Rome and spend the day with my mom and me. The capital city is a two hour Eurostar trip from Florence, and I couldn't be more excited. Although it's been over 25 years since we've seen each other, I have no doubt that the two of us will fall back into place as if no time has passed.

It would be wonderful to find some of the Tella's from Ortona - do I resemble any of them? Are we alike in ways that are obvious? Do they look like my papa? Does Rosemarie look like her father's Sicilian relatives? We probably will never know, but showing Italy to Rosemarie is a way for us both to connect with parts of our family that we remember with great memories. And with an old friend as our guide, it'll be even more special, not to mention, we won't get lost or have to rely on what passes for me speaking Italian.

What's This New Payment Technology All About?

The rain began before Christmas in Los Angeles and it seemed as if it would never end. On the east coast, my mother has had to deal with snow and freezing temperatures. It's a tale of two coasts and one that brings back many memories for me with her. There was a time when I enjoyed snow - during the Blizzard of '78, our street was impossible to navigate. We spent hours, or was it days, digging out a path to get to the grocery store. Our crazy dog loved it, disappearing in a snowbank and then reappearing seconds later to only do it again. Once the path was clear, she and I walked to the grocery store, my hand gripped firmly in hers, her head ensconced by one of her many kerchiefs and me bundled in my snow attire and walking like the Michelin tire man. As we walked around the streets of Paris last year, I thought how nice it was to still be able to walk with your mom's arm in yours, only better attired. Once at that blizzard ravaged Foodmaster, the pickings were few - not even a loaf of Wonder Bread on the shelves. There was no mail delivery for days. I never did get my last issue of Marvel Comics' Tarzan.

But today, though the cold remains, the sky in California has, at least temporarily, stopped spitting while the storms in Boston, however, seem never ending. And, today, a bright reminder of summer - I got charged the deposit for our Florence B&B. Rosemarie and I have started a travel fund so I called her this afternoon to let her know I would need to access some of it to pay my credit card. She was going to write a check, but I dismissed that right away. Snow or no snow, there was no need for the postal service now.

"We'll just pay it online," I announced having her give me her banking information. "The money will come out of the account next week."

"What do I with this check, then?" she asked.

"You can write one to anyone you like, the money will come out automatically now. Don't you pay your bills online?"

"No, no, I write them all checks. I can still use this one?" she asked, looking at her checkbook as I knew she was doing.

"Of course, I didn't use that check number, silly, just the banking information." There was a silence as she processed this new fangled payment technology. "But if you feel the need to still write a check, then any amount to me will do."